I guess I'll just recap everything that's happened in the last week.. there's been a lot.
1. Sister Smith baptized me by fire by letting me (making me) take charge of everything. I KNOW NOTHING. I literally know nothing. It was horrible. For 2 days I wanted to just... scream at my own stupidity. I saw how hard it is to do everything on your own, and I was so happy when she stopped letting me drown and mercifully picked me out of the water and gave me a towel and says "you've got 2 minutes to wipe the drips from your face and then we're going back in, but this time I'll teach you what to do and help you if you drown. But always keep moving. The Lord doesn't help those that stand still". Yeah, it was rough. But! I've seen myself change and become better and I love Sister Smith in a whole new way now!
2. I wanted to ask what you think I need to change about myself? What's something you always thought would make me better? Sister Smith, after receiving a crazy spiritual inclination, told me that she wants to get to know the real Sister Gilmour and she feels like I'm in a box and I don't know how to get out. Okay. No one has ever been so spot on in the way I am before ever in my life. She started crying because the spirit has never spoken to her in that way before. It told her my soul and I didn't even realize that's what was wrong. So I guess instead of changing myself, I'm going to uncover myself. I've buried a lot of the things I love and think because I was always so scared it wouldn't get approval from those around me. I realize a lot about myself here. It's pretty creepy sometimes, actually. So, if you could blatantly ask God what it is that I need to work on, that would be lovely. I'm determined to be the best version of myself when I get home :) Also, pray about what kind of work i need to do. I want to know what my focus is on my mission. I know, it should be serving the people. But... Sister Smith has made me see that we all have a thing. And I want to know to what that thing is for me. I've fasted and prayed about it, but I haven't received a specific answer. So who better to ask than my family?
3. We continue to see miracles here. We could literally do nothing except for talk to random people... cause that's what we're supposed to be, and then someone will WALK UP TO US and ask to see us or know more. I'm just so over being stunned. Of course this is happening.. we're doing all that we've been asked. It makes me realize how out of control we are in missionary work. He only called us to be the puppets... everything we do is not because of ourselves, but because He makes them happen. I have no control over anything here, and I love it like that. I would mess everything up if that were the case.
4. We went on a fabulous run on Monday after emails. My gosh! It was amazing! It was like we were in a fairy tale, but not one of the glitzy ones in America, but the old, German Ashenputtel (Cinderella) kind of fairy tale. I have never seen Sister Smith more herself. It was a real blessing to be able to see her in her complete element. We ran through mud, trees, off the beaten path, to beautiful overviews, we tried to find a castle, but got terribly lost in the mean time, and we did this for about 3 hours. It was amazing. I can't wait to be back here in Germany and to run everywhere I go! We have now made it a goal to run like that every P-day. Today's run wasn't nearly as good, though. Next week!
5. I really felt the love of the members this week. When we got the news that Sister Smith and I were staying here together in Stuttgart for another transfer, I was so pleased. I think the biggest reason we're staying here together is because we have so much to do with the members. They are amazing! I am so blessed to be in this ward and to work with all the amazing people. I hope I can make life long friendships here. I love missionary work!!
6. New Years was last week, I think? We were out until about 2 and it was horrible. It was like a war. I thought I was in Iraq or something. For sure the Germans know how to do Silvester. The amount of fireworks going off were insane!! We were at the YSA center and it over looks Suttgart... you couldn't even count because there were so many. It was cool, but definitely like Sodom and Gemorha... however you spell that. One down, one to go. But our district made some pretty cool goals. Got them all on film... now they've really got to keep them ;)
Over all... I'm so happy with everything :) I love you all and I miss you, but I know that I'm here because this is where I'm needed. I'm learning so much and I never want to stop learning. I can't wait to see what the Lord does with my life :)
This is what happiness is!
You all sound like you're doing amazingly! That run in the mountains and snow looked breathless, mom and dad! You both look great! I love you SO much!!
P.s. oh wowo about Spencer Nelson!!! Another American Fork-er?! that'll make like... 20. A boy who graduated the year before me is being sent to my district to be zone leader with Elder Moon on Thursday. that'll be pretty weird.